MultiTasking

So I walk into the bathroom.  I go up to my* urinal and start my bidness.  Behind me I hear a guy in a stall.  He is obviously number two-ing cause he is soo not trying to disguise his thunderous farts.  This, in itself, is not that big of a deal.  I mean, how unsatisfying is a dook without a good fart or two?  Nothing unusual.  No, what makes this unusual is what he was doing in addition to crapping.  I could hear the rustling of paper.  He was reading a newspaper.  Once again, no big deal.  Sitting on the throne and reading go hand in hand.  Although, the magazine or newspaper has been quickly replaced by the phone.  Phone-ing while poo-ing is all the rage.  Who doesn't text or look up sports scores? Which is exactly what he was doing, phone-ing.  But he was not surfing, he was talking on it (oh how I hope he was using a bluetooth).  And after hearing what he was talking about, I realized he was not reading a paper.  He was doing homework!

Okay.  Recap.  Talking on the phone.  Doing homework.  AND taking a crap.  All that was missing was the courtesy flush (and he soooo needed one).  Dude.  I understand we all have a lot going on these days and can't waste any precious time.  But you gotta draw the line.  Pooping is MY time.  There is absolutely no homework that is so important, that I need to get phone help with it, while intermittently inserting a grunt and occasional fart.

Gross.  Gross on so many levels.  The teacher is going to have to grade a poo paper.  The person on the other end of the phone getting farts and grunts.  The person who is going to use his book in the future.  His phone.  Its needs a good wipedown.  And me.  Dude.  I don't wanna hear any of that.  It makes me not wanna touch anything!  Hope he washed his hands.


*I will address my in the future.  Also, I am quite fond of the asterisk (I know. Don't you pronounce it asterick?  Yeah sure.  Too bad there's another es in it.  But who's counting?  I will address that another day too).